Happy Hour's blog

Happy Love Day!

I married well.

A decade ago I used to joke about marrying well, meaning marrying someone with a lot of money, since I was going into a profession which does not allow one to live the lifestyle of the rich and famous.

I did not marry someone with the financial ability to make my every wish come true or buy me every fancy thing I could desire.

Good thing I'm not someone who wants a lot of stuff.

I married well because my husband loves me. 

As well, he is kind and patient and hardly ever expresses his frustration in a loud way.  He works hard and compromises and does the dishes and drives and says thank you for the things I do. He never leaves things lying around, he's never late and he does not steal the blankets. 

I'm so lucky to have him for my partner. 

I love you, baby!

All riled up!

As of late, there has been some huge drama going on at work.  I would love to blog about it, you would love to read about it, but due to some professionalism, I cannot.  

I know, no fun.

On to the next story.

This weekend I volunteered to help out as a skating coach, filling in for someone who was absent.  Let's think about what it means to be a volunteer, shall we?  Show up for your commitment and do what you have commited to do to the best of your ability.  I did that.  Do not get paid.  I have not been renumerated in anyway for what I did.  What did I expect in return?  Maybe a thank you.  Which I did receive from the other coaches.  I did not expect any interaction with parents.

Today, a 5 year-old boy got on the ice.  He was part of the group that is just learning to skate.  Children learning to skate spend just about as much time with their butts on the ice as they do on their skates  Snow pants are a very good idea (cushion the fall as well as protect the tush from the cold).  Mittens are essential.  One child was impatiently sent on the ice without mittens.  I told his parent that he really needed mittens.  They found some. Great, all is well, the lesson continues.  I spent 45 minutes with a group of children smiling, being positive, cojoling, giggling, having fun and picking them up off the ice when they just couldn't bare to do it themselves, one more time.  It was fun and I really enjoyed it.

When we got off the ice the parent gruffly asked me what the note they had received was about.  Uh, well, I'm new and I have no idea.  But you can read it, sir.  Upon entering the dressing room, his son's boots were missing.  He was quite upset with the situation, which is understandable.  He was also upset with me, as I was not helping him out.  Sir, remember me?  Picking up your child off the ice for 45 minutes?  I could not possibly be responsible for the whereabouts of the boots.  I suggested a few places he could check, which he deemed to be illogical.  I continued on my merry way, irrititated that he felt this was my responsiblity.

This is a small irritation that reflected a much, much larger problem, irritation, self doubt and true agony that my real job has provided me.  But I can't write about the real job.  So just read the small story and imagine a big story.

 

Beautiful Winter Day

I don't know if it's the reprieve after being help prisoner by windchill last week or if the sun reflecting off the snow makes if feel warmer, but being outside on supervision today was lovely.  I swear, it is far more pleasant to be outside today, in the sunshine, than on a Spring or Fall day that may very well be warmer, temperature wise, but windy and grey, and therefore quite unpleasant.

It has been a rough week for me at work.  Some challenging issues and the extra time and energy it takes to resolve them have made me want to throw in the towel.

And then I heard that a girl I knew when I was young had passed away.

So the sun is shining a little brighter and I see the kids' smiles and cuteness and what's a little job related stress anyway?

Oil - oy.

It is my personality to take  pro-environmental stance, sacrificing the economy if necessary.  It is in idealist view, fairly uninformed, to be sure. 

This past week, when it was announced that the Keystone Pipeline project has been either cancelled or put on hold, I thought of it as s sign of progress for the environment.  I was unhappy to hear that a prominent member of our government was dismissing opposition to the Northern Gateway project.  Generally, I don't appreciate that our government promotes the economy above all other issues, including the environment.

At the same time, it was bitterly cold this past week.  My house is heated by natural gas, as are many houses, and the furnace was running at full tilt.  My house is not large by any standards of our society.  All the same, the furnace runs to heat many rooms that we do not even enter on a daily basis.  As well, I would be ashamed to admit how long I allow my car to warm up before I drive on cold winter mornings. The car that could hold up to 5 passengers that 99% of the time only holds me.

Over the holidays we went on an awesome vacation, far, far away. I have yet to write a boastful post entailing my adventures.  The plane traveled many, many (many!) miles.  Just what was powering the plane?  (Lots of my money and) oil! 

In principle, I'm against the damage done to the environment because of our thirst for oil.  In practice, I'm a huge consumer. I reap the benefits of the oil industray 24 hours a day.

As a teacher, I'm paid by the government.  Though I don't know anything about the details of the budget, I'm sure large contributions are made by the oil industry in our province as well as those who pay taxes because they are able to work in the industry.  Where do I expect my salary to come from? 

A stable environment is important and a priority, but I cannot be blinded by romatic notions; oil plays an important role in my lifestyle.

Stagette - the post I never wrote

At the end of June, my awesome bridesmaids came to town and threw parties!  One big day of love, all for me! 

My shower was lovely - the theme was French!  French games, French music, French food.  Obviously, I thought it was fabulous.  There is not much to say about the shower because it was typical - I got great gifts, people were very generous, my friends and family are super thoughtful.  It was not awkward or embarrassing in any way.

The bachelorette party started at my house.  I put on the shortest dress I will ever wear, a pink wig, a boa, some awesome looking tights and some less than awesome shoes.  I really need to work on my "awesome shoes" collection.  All of this was followed by a blind-fold.  Destination #1 was not for me to know!

I drove with a friend from, who is from out of town.  I was wearing a blind-fold and pink hair, she was wearing hot rollers.  We had left the house in haste, as to not be late for the secret activity.  So, she kept the hot rollers in for a few minutes longer.  We must have been a sight, driving threw town in this way.  

We arrived at the destination and I tried not to step in puddles (it had just rained).  I had to climb stairs in a mysterious building, while wearing a blind-fold.  Arriving at the top, some people said hello to me.  With trepidation, I responded meekly.  It took me a while to figure out who the voices were.  Finally, I was allowed to remove my blind-fold.  Salsa dancing!!!

I was excited about salsa dancing lessons, but a little dispointed that only a few people were there.  Oh well, not a night to feel down.  We started the class and after a few minutes heard banging.  Someone went to open the door and a whole pile of my friends arrived!  I love dancing, I can count so it was all very fun.

Next stop, a friend's house.  I was so lucky, it's actually a friend of Jason's who offered that the stagette could be held at her house.  More people joined!  I couldn't believe it.  A full house, all for me!  It was a dream.  My friends gave me a quiz on Jason that I passed.  I knew there was a good chance of this and I was glad that I knew a lot of answers, if not all of them.  I'm so competitive, it's ridiculous.  We had delicious shots - my friends definitely have a fall-back career!  I got enough underwear to stuff my drawers full - I will not need to go shopping for a long time.  Also, I think pink was the colour of Spring, 2011.

 The pink wig had given me a whole new perspective of myself.  Generally, I'm reserved, to say the least.  I walked into the bar with the swagger of a rock star (or my more confident friends,) ready to party!  I went directly to the dance floor, surrounded by my awesome friends.  There we danced, oblivious to the crazy things going on around us.  I danced on the speaker, beside the 22 year-olds, making out with anyone and everyone.  

Many of my awesome friends are also moms.  I hear moms need to get up EARLY!  The fact that they came to the bar at all was great.  All of a sudden, many of them realized they needed to get up and play with their kids in a few short hours.  So they left.  I kept dancing.  The rest of my friends kept dancing.  A girl fell off the speakers and the ambulance and police came.  We stopped dancing.  And then we kept dancing!

Finally I said, "Okay, that's enough, let's go home".  One of my friends had her husband come in a van and drive us all home.  Awesome friends have awesome husbands that get up very early or very late and then drive all over the city.  

The last night out as a single girl was the best night out as a single girl! 

 

No Longer in the Closet

I grew up in a politically secret household.  We discussed political issues and views on issues, but my parents never told us who they voted for.  I grew following their lead.  My vote is a secret and I don't tell anyone.  If you know me or talk to me, it's really not hard to guess, if you know a little bit about politics.  I have a soft heart, I love everyone and the environment and you know I love me some French.  Still, my parents explained why they kept their vote secret:  It will change the way people think about you and perhaps, impact employment opportunities.  It's our right to keep our vote to ourselves.  

A few years ago, shortly after Jason and I had started dating, we went to a party at one of my friend's houses.  There were many lovely and interesting people.  It was shortly after (another) federal election.  One not-so-nice man was sitting beside me and asked me who I had voted for.  I told him that I don't discuss who I vote for.  He stood up and and asked again.  I repeated myself.  He asked me what I had to hide, what I was scared of.  I was a little taken aback, so I stood up and left the room.  He called me a f*#% N c#@&.  Whoa!  Now Jason didn't really know what to do - punch him?  He didn't punch him, thank goodness.  The guy was definitely a jerk, but I really didn't want the guy I was dating to be a fighter.  So he left the room as well.  Alls well that ends well.

Fast forward a few years to our contract negotiations.  Where the current government berated us (teachers)  and tarnished our public reputation using negative publicity, speficically television ads.  After we went on strike, an outside party was hired to negotiate our contract, which in my opinion, was crap.  Thank you, 66%.

There is no way I am voting for the government.  For me, it's not enough to quietly make a little x on November 7.  My husband and I discussed it and when our candidate (who I incidentally used to sit behind in English class) stopped by last weekend, I agreed to a lawn sign indicating our political support.

I was a little nervous - what will my friends think?  What will my neighbours think?  I needed worry about the neighbours, more than half of them have the same sign!  

Name Game

My post wedding life has not been filled with running here and there changing my name at the bank and at work and with all the bill collectors and the library... simply because I didn't change my name.  Same as always, I'm the same person. I like my name.  I don't need a new name. 

Of course when I was a little girl, I thought I would change my name.  I also thought I would get married when I was 20.  Why?  Because that's what everybody's mom did.  I started to change my mind when I was in university and the decision was solidified long before I met my husband.  I'm not changing my name.  If we have kids, I will (very begrudgingly) concede that they will have his name. 

The thing is, I almost don't feel married.  I feel like nothing changed, so what's the difference?  I suppose that being married isn't just about July 23, it's an everyday state that will grow and change with us.  Though I wonder, if I had changed my name and smiled as everybody asked me what my new name is, instead of grinding my teeth and repeating my always and forever surname, would I feel differently?

I'm sure in my decision, but that doesn't mean I don't wonder. 

Wedding Love

The wedding.  It was only 2 months ago, but it is a blur.  This will be my final post, hopefully I can clarify what it was all about.

It was all about friends, it was all about family, it was all about us.  At one point during the dinner I looked out upon all of our guests, all together.  So many!  So many people that care about us.  In most cases, they drove hundreds of kilometers or got on a plane to be there, for us.  I noted that these people would never be together again.  Until one of us passes.  And even then, as our bestman said, most of them will not be there.  A magical moment in time. 

There was confusion, there was panic.  It was time for me to put my dress on, so I went into the room and crawled under the skirt, as this is how you put on such a dress.  I reached my arms above my head and stood up.  The dress got stuck on my veil.  I called for my mom.  She didn't hear me.  I screamed "MOM!", she didn't hear me.  I screamed more "HELP!!  HELLLLLLPPPPPP!!!!!!"  Everyone heard.  Everyone came running.  I screamed "I'm stuck!  Get it off!"  They sort of laughed and in a few seconds I was wearing my dress, very scared that I would be late.  For the show that wouldn't start without me!

The dinner was roast beef.  I wanted fish.  So I had fish.  Because I. was. the. bride.  I heard the roast beef was fabulous.  I also really wanted to eat my appetizers.  We both chose appetizers we love, so of course I wanted to taste!  I didn't touch dessert.  No homemade pie for me!  I just couldn't.  I hope the head table got some, though I'm not sure.  I think that was at the same time that they were passing out favours.  I highly doubt that any of them regret not eating (everything) like I do. 

Before I knew it, it was our first dance.  We chose Shine, by Hannah Georgas.  We did the typical slow dance punctuated with a littls waltz when the music allowed.  We spent hours arguing over the songs that we be used for the parent dance and the bridal party dance and the opening the dance song.  I have no idea what we chose!  How silly. 

Anybody who knows me, knows I'm far more flexible than a planner.  Our wedding was the most planned day of my life.  From getting to the salon, to eating, to getting my dress on to getting into the limo, getting to the church, leaving the room I was hiding in, in the church, etc. etc.  It was so scheduled.  It was very well organized and I think, well executed.  We had a lot of detail.  That's what we did for 3 weeks prior to the wedding.  We weren't working so we planned and planned and planned.  170 candy apples.  Baby-sitters.  Accomadations.  Music.  Vendors.  For all of my daily disorganization, I'm really happy that this was one day in my life that was well put together. 

The clock?  We can't explain it either.

It was amazing to sit in the room and look out at all of our friends and relatives who made arrangements and traveled for many, many miles to be there.  It was wonderful that so many people participated in the day.  The memories, they are sweet. 

 

 

Don't Tell the Children

10 years.

I was just waking up to my radio alarm.  I was living in my parents house and for some reason I was sleeping in my sister's room - she was away at university.  The radio announcers were saying that a plane had crashed into the twin towers, stating that it was a terrible accident.  Shortly thereafter, the second tower was hit.  Shock and confusion.

New York is a far away place.  For many, it only exists in the movies.  At that time I had never been to New York and didn't think I would ever go.

I was just at the beginning of my final internship in a Grade 1 classroom.  I went to school and it was a normal day in the classroom.  At recess, teachers watched everything on tv, in shock.  We did not discuss anything with the children.  My cooperating teacher did not want to explain anything or answer any questions.  That is not how I would handle it now.  I think I would let them experience it.  Sure they would be scared, but I think it is part of life.  Now, I teach children that are a little older. 

When I went home I spent the evening watching tv, in horror, with my family.  Obviously, it was scary and unbelievable.

Since then...

I visited New York and Ground Zero in 2006.  I read the signs and learned about the devestation.  I had tears in my eyes.

I met Muslims.  I really don't know if I had before then, if I even knew anything about Islam.  People started talking about Islam.  I closed my ears (and still do) to negative talk.  I understand a little bit about Islamic beliefs and celebrations.  I have friends who are Muslim.  I've read some books. 

War.  In Iraq.  In Afganistan.  I'm not even sure I had heard of Afganistan before then.  Maybe I had.  I've certainly learned a lot more about Afganistan since then.  Thanks, Kite Runner and Three Cups of Tea and CNN (ha).  I'm still unsure of why my country is at war.  I seriously doubt the motives and think it is a waste of far too many lives on all sides.  I'm not an expert by any means and I am sure that I don't know enough to have a serious opinion.

There are annoyances on airplanes and at borders.  I am aware that my name and skin colour make these annoyances very minor.  That aggravates me to no end.  So unfair.

 There have always been changes in the world and there always will be.  To be sure, the events of 911 changed the world, but the world would change anyway.  I suppose the changes in the world changed me, I'm surely more enlightened than I was 10 years ago, just as I hope to be more aware, 10 years from now.

The Cake

Dessert for our wedding was pie, made by my mom, my mother-in-law and my uncle.  It is not traditional for us to have pie, but in Saskatchewan, pie is a very traditional dessert at family gatherings.  Also, pie is delicious and most people love it.  As well, we served the pie so it allowed us to say hello to all of our guests.  

 Me, serving pie, wearing the apron that my mother painstakingly made to protect my dress!

 

We didn't think we would have a cake.  We had heard that they are very expensive and were set on the idea of wedding pie.  However, Alissa generously offered to make us a cake.  Alissa has been a friend for years - she would have been 1 or 2 when her sister and I became friends.  She is a massage therapist and also works at her family business, supplying me with everything I need to keep my house clean.  (It is up to me to use it!) 

I had absolutely no idea what I wanted for a cake.  This is often the best, because what Alissa created was beautiful, beyond what I could have ever hoped for.  We are so lucky, thank you Alissa!

 Cutting the cake

 

I take over (typical?)

Smiling while J is threatening to smash the cake all over my face and me saying "Don't you dare!"

OUCH!! 

Thinking it was a piece of fondant (icing) he bit my finger REALLY HARD!  Related: I have no pain tolerance whatsoever and am a big baby.

There were a few moments that followed:

57: I can't believe you bit my finger!!

J:  Sorry baby (laughing)

57: (looking indignant, mad, ready to fight, there are cameras flashing everywhere)

It's okay, it was an accident, we're still in love.

And that's the story of our cake.